You may find Guidos.
- Doing Cocaine in the public restroom at a beach
- Saying "forget about it" when it does not apply
- Acting out what they "would do" to Carmen Electra at a family restaurant
- Talking about how they respect Usher
- Turning up the Bass in an Excursion while passing a crowd of people.
- Crying outside an Excursion while being searched by the police.
- Asking "Do you know who I am?" in an attempt to bluff his way out of a fight.
- Calling a girl a bitch because she doesn't like being groped by a stranger.
- Watching "Growing up Gotti" as a group.
- Driving at pace with a girl, who is angrily walking down the side of the road, trying to apologize to her over techno music
- In a BMW with blue neon lights glowing from the bottom while speeding down the 495.
- Drinking Coors light on a 25' boat while blaring the "Boys are back in town" by Thin Lizzy.
- Quoting Scarface ad nauseam
- Explaining to a mason how the working man is a sucker before taking his daughter out on a date.
- Pretty much embarrassing Italian-Americans & all human beings everywhere.

You will NEVER find Guidos:
-Playing football in a park
-Working
-Wearing a shirt if it is not required
-Politely ordering a meal at a restaurant -Looking a man in the eyes when shakinghis hands
-Purchasing any goods or services with money they actually earned
-Doing the right thing
-Having a pleasant demeanor
-Being genuinely happy
-Having an educated opinion on a worldly issue