Is this a racist website?
Answer: No, this is not a racist website. While yes, most Guidos have the “ITALIA” shirt in letters about 3 inches too big than anyone wants to see, this does not mean that ALL Guidos are Italian, nor does it mean that all Italians are Guidos. Good people come in all shapes and colors.
Follow up: Do Guidos know that they are an absolute embarrassment to the Italian Community & human life in general?
Answer: No, Guidos actually think that they are doing the Italian Community a favor by cheaply promoting common Italian stereotypes.
Unfortunately I have a Guido friend.how can I convince him to leave the island?
Answer: The first thing you should ask yourself is why are you friends with a Guido?? That being said there is any easy way to get rid of him: log onto http://www.downtownmiami.com/ and request an informational brochure to be sent to your Guido friends' house.
Miami Florida was built for Guidos. There is a dance club on every street corner, its year round tanning weather, and everyone listens to gangster rap music. People are complete douche bags with no manners whatsoever. The woman only care about what kind of car you drive, and the men in Miami spend more time in front of the mirror than a Hollywood actress. Trust me, once he sees that Miami brochure he'll take his parent's money, buy a one way ticket and you'll never see him again. One down, many to go.
How come the Guidos in my school never listen to classic rock music?
Answer: They don’t know what classic rock is. Once they become a Guido they eat, live, breathe, and die by hardcore gangster rap and an occasional techno song. They think that by listening to gangster rap, girls will stop thinking they are losers and somehow think they are cool. They also have a preconceived notion that rap “artists” are pillars of the community and functional members of society. They have more respect for rappers than they do for WWII veterans. Also, if they can listen to rap music, and annoyingly sing along to the songs, they feel like they are the rappers themselves, giving them that sense of identity that they have been striving for.
Why do Guidos seem to have an obsession with the Mafia? Why do they try to act like Mafiosos?
Answer: Remember - Guidos love to identify themselves with something. It makes them feel socially accepted; and by identifying themselves with an Italian mafia the Guidos can not only find an identity, but give themselves more of a reason to act tough. Also, there is nothing a Guido fears more than an honest day’s work. And this plays into your typical mafia jargon you see in Hollywood produced movies and series.
Is there such thing as an intelligent Guido?
Answer: No, that is a scientific impossibility. Once an individual loses his character and becomes a Guido drone, education and intelligence fall off the priority list and are replaced by vanity and materialism. After all, intelligence isn’t necessary when your goal in life is to avoid being a functional member of society.
What about the women that hang out with Guidos, what should we do about them?
Answer: These are your typical long island girls who look up to their favorite characters from the HBO show Sex and the City. They strive to become the greatest slut in the universe and they aren’t worth more than a bag of pennies. Most of them will get STD’s from Guidos if they hang around them long enough. Either way, while they do contribute to the problem, they are not the controlling factor. If we disassemble the main problem, the rest will fall suit.
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