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The Middle Finger Crisis  

Our scientists have been doing research on a phenomenon known as the "Guido Middle Finger Crisis" to attempt to determine the reason that Guidos continue to raise up their middle finger when confronted with a camera. We first examined many of today's standard digital cameras to find out just what about the camera was making these guidos lift up their middle finger.
After weeks of digging and no luck our scientists make a startling breakthrough. Finally realizing that it was not the camera that was the causing the problem...it was the natural guido "Douchebag Aura" that was making all these Guidos lift up their middle finger. See the schematic to the right for more details. We see from the diagram that a majority of the "douchebag aura" is concentrated in the Guidos middle finger. When the typical Guido makes the conscious decision to be a douchebag (which tends to occur on the 15th and 45th minute of every hour of every day) the "Douchebag Aura" takes over and delivers a power packed reflex to the middle finger that raises it indefinitely.

Now that this crisis is solved, we can turn our scientific efforts and attention to the "Guido Air Kissing Crisis":

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